I have two very consistent, compulsive behaviors which I perform relentlessly in the sleeping hours. First, I like to stretch like a cat, starting at the tips of my fingers and working down to the tips of my toes. I will often wake in the middle of the stretch, completely incapable of stopping the process before every limb and muscle has been elongated and released. While it sounds benign, and perhaps even healthy, I was unaware of the habit until I had foot surgery. Imagine awakening in the middle of a body factory supplies luxury 3d real mink eyelashes, realizing that you are working toward a foot which will scream for mercy when the wave arrives-and not being able to stop it!
My second activity is (symbolically) not unlike the stretch. I wake and go over events in my life in excruciating detail. Reminiscent of the stretch, I become aware somewhere in the middle of the process and am incapable of intervening. Like nature, this compulsive need will have its way. Seemingly trivial or unimportant occurrences can take on eerie and threatening personalities in the dark of night. I can spin a mountain out of a mole hill faster than it takes to get to the foot in my little stretch. I call this little progression the Night factory supplies luxury 3d real mink eyelashes.
An example of a Night Monster might be the creature who whispers in your mind that your boss’s comment about your extra cup of morning coffee is an insinuation that he thinks you take too many breaks. A bigger monster might be the one who tells you that if you trust anyone, you will be factory supplies luxury 3d real mink eyelashes. The biggest kind of monsters might make you believe that the only way you will survive is to debilitate or destroy others who do not believe what you believe.
The Night Monsters have been appearing as long as I remember. I’ve discovered that everyone has them in some form. Some sleep soundly but are beset with their night monsters during the day. Night monsters, whenever they emerge, always take over your thoughts. Your rational mind runs for cover when they arrive and will only come out again when they are gone. They repeatedly drag you to the dark side of the issue at hand; the worst case factory supplies luxury 3d real mink eyelashes.
They take seemingly trivial interactions and blow them up until there is no way to quiet them until you slay the human who accompanied the monster into your thoughts. You know, the person who slighted you, was rude to you, sabotaged your relationship with your boss or your friends, and various others who hang out with monsters.
You may try to make others understand why you are so upset, but they can’t always see the monsters you see. In every moment, you are standing at the top of a pyramid with the choice to slide down either side. It is not an accident that the pyramid you are standing on is also the mathematical symbol for change. Monsters want you to stay in place and resist the very changes that will enrich your life. That’s how they win.
If you choose to grapple with your monsters and embrace the changes that will inevitably occur in you and around you, you will slide down the side toward Grace. You will become stronger, happier and more resilient as you face and conquer each monster. You can choose to deny their presence within you, blame others for the consequences in your life, and become a victim to the things you draw to you. You are allowed to choose anger or righteousness over compassion. You can be judgmental or submissive in order to escape what you fear, but neither will serve you. Each time you allow the monster to have its way, you choose against yourself.
You open your eyes but you see nothing. It’s dark. Really dark, like being in a coal mine, 1000 feet below the surface and all the lights are turned off. You feel uneasy without knowing why. You can’t quite remember where you are. You reach for the information but it eludes you. Suddenly, you can feel movement near you but you cannot see what it is. Uneasiness begins to turn to panic. You are immediately certain that you are in danger. You imagine the worst. Those moving presences are out to destroy you and the moment becomes one of survival. You lash out, swinging your arms, reaching for anything to use as a weapon to push back the evil creatures in the night. Should you run? Immediately you reject that idea. You can’t see. Should you stay perfectly still and wait for the evil to reveal itself? You can’t breathe. Gradually your eyes adjust to the darkness and you can just begin to make out the moving shapes around you. You are still uneasy, but the shapes don’t seem to be moving at you in any aggressive or threatening way. And then you realize that one of the moving shapes is the overhead fan in your bedroom and the other is your dog wagging his tail next to your be. He’s hoping that opening of your eyes is the first step to doing something enormously exciting. You let out your breath in a whoosh and the world falls into place. You laugh!
This story is an analogy for our journey through life. We don’t know how we got here, where we are going, or what the future holds. We move, as if in the dark, and sometimes we bump into imaginary monsters and sometimes we encounter things that cannot be described as anything but real monsters.
Here is the big “what if”? What if the monsters, real and imaginary, are all illusions? Perhaps in the big scheme of things they are just ceiling fans and happy dogs that we don’t recognize in the moment. What if our perspective of events is completely distorted by our inability to see them within a larger, more complete construct? What if our real “job” is to dismantle the beliefs which holds us in fear of imaginary monsters, and reconstruct a more enlightened understanding of ourselves, others, and the things that go bump in the night?
If the analogy holds, our current construct with many inappropriate and inefficient reactions to events may cause us to lash out or resist the very things that are given to us to create effortless and fulfilled lives. How bruised and damaged we become as we blunder through life may be directly proportional to our ability to identify and reshape our monsters into the very guides and openings they represent!
From Tree Hugging to Boogie Board
I test myself against the following comparison when I want to know how well I am mastering my monsters. I close my eyes and assess which of the following applies to my immediate status.
I am in a raging river. Initially I am unconscious of the forces directing me and am helpless, bounced and battered by the current. Eventually I find my way to the shore where I attach myself to a nearby tree, hanging on for dear life, watching my life swish past me with enormous factory supplies luxury 3d real mink eyelashes.
Eventually I tire and throw myself back into the river and things start moving again, but I am still not in control. The more I become aware of the direction and intention of the current, the more I resist my own impulse to grab the factory supplies luxury 3d real mink eyelashes.\
Eventually I flow with the current along the surface. My final state, the state of Grace to which I aspire, is an image of myself on a boogie board, skimming along the top, in total control, strong and effective in working with the current to arrive at a destination chosen by me. In any given moment I might be a Tree Hugger, hoping to avoid the current and the changes that tug at me, or a wave rider, flowing above my life in effortless joy. The monsters would like me to continue clinging to the tree. When I let go of them, I reenter the potential of my life, and energy and joy reenter the picture.