We are creatures of volition. We possess the profound ability to choose… to make informed decisions. This, I believe, is the most critical element of whether a marriage will be a success or not. Miss this and you will not have the basis, and foundation, on which to build the concepts and principles of a successful discount private 3d mink lashes.Axstn
You must learn to maximize the power of discount private 3d mink lashes. You must understand that you are the one who dictates choice. The problem I see in so many people is that they are dictated to and controlled by their emotions, feelings and attitudes – it’s a common human condition. But it is absolutely critical that you learn to master these elements in your life. It’s imperative that you take back the power that you may have relinquished to your partner, through your impulsive and knee-jerk reactions. What I mean is this: when she/he says or does something that hurts or angers you, you don’t have to strike back with something that will hurt or anger them, and level the playing field so to speak. In fact this reaction never levels anything except more of the relationship, and brings it that much closer to crumbling to the ground.
There is a better way and you must begin implementing it now if you are going to have any success in turning your discount private 3d mink lashes around. Here is the simple truth… that’s what I love about truth, it is almost always simple, we just have a way of overcomplicating it. O.K. ready? Everything you think, say and do is because you have decided to think, say or do it. This brings up two profound realities:
1. You have no one to blame for what you think, say or do, and…
2. Now you must accept the consequences that come from what you think, say or do. There’s no more pointing the finger. There’s no more discount private 3d mink lashes. There’s no more, “He/She made me do it!”
We live in a universe of cause and effect. There is a consequence to everything we think, say and do. Generally the consequence is either negative or positive. The more positive we think, the more we see positive possibilities around us. If we speak positive we usually experience positive results. And if we act positively we most often receive positive feedback. And I’m not talking about some weird, metaphysical kind of positive thinking where we think we can “alter the physical universe” or “speak things into existence.” I’m relating this to marriage and focussing on how our attitudes, be they negative or positive, will alter our marriage universe and have a profound impact on our spouse. And I truly believe that within our “marriage universes” we can speak “things” into existence. Let me explain…
Scenario 1: You’re having yet another lousy day at work. On the drive home you start thinking… I work so hard and I am so undervalued. I should be making way more money than I am. I deserve a raise. I put up with so much abuse from my boss. I work overtime and I never get to do any of the things I want. And at home I never get any appreciation. I don’t feel like my wife supports me. She doesn’t understand me and all that I’m dealing with… the bills, the friction at work, all the stress I’m going through. I’m sick and tired of discount private 3d mink lashes…
You arrive home feeling completely exhausted and grouchy. You come in the house, slam the door shut, plop down on the couch, and start rummaging around for the remote. Your wife is in the kitchen beginning to prepare discount private 3d mink lashes. You find the sports channel and start to tune the world out. Before you do though you yell something in your wife’s direction about bringing you a drink. As she puts a Coke down on the coffee table you mumble something that remotely resembles “thanks.”
She heads back to the kitchen and you dose off with the voice of Dr. Phil psycho-analyzing a two-headed, sociopathic, gender-challenged mutant from Mars in the background. Wait you think as you nod off into “la-la land,” I thought the game was on… An hour later you awake to the sound of your wife calling you for dinner. You make it to the table, snarf down the sirloin, rice pilaf and Caesar salad and head back to the couch to finish watching the game. Hey, who turned Dr. Phil on? Subconsciously you hear your wife clearing the plates from the table and loading the dish-washer. You think you might hear her mumbling something about how “life sucks” and that she “didn’t sign up for this,” and you think you might have heard a little sniffling like she might be crying. You shake your head slightly and yell something at the TV about the ref making a terrible call. You hear the drone of the dish-washer and footsteps in the background as your wife heads upstairs, and that’s when the reality hits… you’re going to have to get up and get the Doritos yourself!
A couple hours later the games over, and you’re even grouchier because your team got their butts kicked, and you head off to bed. You wash up and crawl into bed next to your wife. Because you’re such a perceptive guy, you can tell there’s a little bit of “ice build-up”, so you venture an awkward, “Is there something wrong baby?” And that’s when the dam is unleashed… She starts to tell you about how ungrateful you are, and how you take her for granted, and that you are selfish, self-centered, and don’t have a clue of all she does, how hard she works and that you don’t love her.
You begin getting upset at her accusations and lash back, “Well, I work my butt of just so you can have a nice home and buy all the clothes and stuff you want and I never get any appreciation from you. What do you do all day anyway? Maybe you need to get a job and start contributing financially so we can get out of debt. My boss yells at me all day long and then I come home to this… I really don’t need this crap!” You throw off the covers, get out of bed and storm off downstairs to the couch, your “bed away from bed,” with the sound of your wife sobbing behind you. Just another average day in your life’n’times…
… now I know this is an over-simplification and exaggeration and that in today’s world the roles could just as easily be reversed, with the wife coming home to a Mr. Mom, but I hope you grasp the over-all point I’m trying to make.
Scenario 2: You’re having yet another lousy day at work. On the drive home you start thinking… Wow, today sucked, I’m glad it’s over. I wonder how (put your wife’s name here) day went? You know, she’s a great homemaker. She really is undervalued and often under-appreciated. She works hard and takes care of the house and does her best to take care of me. She really is a great wife. Not perfect, who is, but she does her best and I am lucky that she married me. You pull over at the flower shop a few blocks from home, rummage through the change in your pocket and come up with just enough to buy one simple rose. You eye the bouquet and wish you could afford it, but the bills this month have just been through the discount private 3d mink lashes…
Pulling into the driveway you park the car and head inside, quietly opening the door and closing it carefully behind you. You hear your wife cooking in the kitchen and the smell of steak on the grill brings a smile to your face. You tip toe into the kitchen. Your wife is at the sink washing some Romaine lettuce. You put the rose in your mouth, sneak up behind her and grab her around the waist. She stiffens and screams and then starts laughing and relaxes in your arms saying, “You scared the livin’ daylights out of me!” She turns around in your arms and a big smile comes to her face as she sees the rose. “I wish I could have gotten you the whole bouquet but this is all I could afford… ” She puts a finger to your lips to stop you mid sentence, takes the rose and gives you a lingering kiss that says “I appreciate this simple discount private 3d mink lashes and all it means… you have just made my day!” With a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous look on her face, she turns down the grill, takes you by the hand, leads you up stairs and “cooks up a little something” that you remember for the next few weeks!
Now, again, I know this little story is an over-simplification and exaggeration (and probably sounds really cheesy to a lot of you reading this), and that in today’s world the roles could just as easily be reversed, with the wife coming home to a Mr. Mom, but I hope you grasp the over-all point I’m trying to make. Our choices absolutely have the ability to alter our “marriage universe.”
Think about the two scenarios for a moment. In the first one, what is the central theme? “I” and “me.” The guy is completely focused on himself – everything he’s dealing with and what he’s going through. He’s got a “poor me” attitude. He is self-centered and self-absorbed. In the second scenario, nothing in his world is any different. He’s still had a terrible day. His boss is still a real jerk. He’s still overworked and underpaid. The only thing that is different is his choice of attitude and perspective. Instead of being self-absorbed, he chooses to be wife-absorbed. This changes the whole emphasis on his actions and desires. He then begins to plan how he can make her day, and life, as pleasant as he can. When we think outside ourselves, it is actually very therapeutic. As we do all we can to make the life of our spouse as good as we can, we begin to forget about our own problems – all that is getting us down and defeating us.
There’s an old Chinese proverb that says, “Love is desiring the best for the object of your discount private 3d mink lashes.” But what is important to note is that the simple little difference to the, “night and day,” outcome of the scenarios is a powerful thing called choice.
If you find yourself relating more to the guy in the first scenario don’t feel bad. Well I mean, you should feel bad, but don’t get down on yourself! Realize that this is an “a-ha” moment for you. Do not look at this as a “negative” in any respect. There is such a freedom that comes from truly grasping that we are at no ones mercy when it comes to choice. No matter how bad or wrong something may be that has been said or done to you, you do not need to respond with negativity or anger. YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. The sad thing is that far too often we make the wrong choice. We decide to take the negative route. We decide to strike back in anger. We choose to shoot a mean, hurtful, abusive word back. And in so doing we enslave ourselves to our emotions and attitudes.
We allow ourselves to be manipulated puppets, marionettes, pulled in this way and that way by every situation and circumstance that comes our way… by every negative word and deed our partner says and does. The good news is that this ingrained habit can be reversed. Here is a very simple yet very profound statement: “Every minute of your future is still yours!” We are prone to over-complicate things. What we really need to understand is that choice is like a light switch. A light switch has a positive and a negative position. You flick it on for light or positive, and flick it off for dark or negative. Choice is also that simple. We choose to be positive or we choose to be negative. It just doesn’t happen, we make a conscious choice of how we view each circumstance and situation in our day. We make a deliberate mental choice of how we view our discount private 3d mink lashes.
First and foremost is that you, right now, begin to take responsibility for the lack and discount private 3d mink lashes in your marriage. Accountability isn’t the favorite past-time of our day, but if you neglect it you might as well kiss your marriage good-bye. You cannot change your partner no matter how badly you want to or how noble your intentions may be. But you can change you. You can critique yourself and weed out the “stuff” you know needs to go. I don’t know you, but I can guarantee that there are areas in yourself that you can better, and that applies to us all. The “negative” attitudes and habits need to be completely discarded and “positive” attitudes and habits need to be implemented and embraced.
How do you do this? Just make the choice! And I guarantee you that in so doing you will see a change in the one you love.